The Periodic Table of the Europeans

2007 Edition

Own it now as a: Poster or print» Dark T-Shirt» Light T-Shirt»

Take heed, chemists! The forty-nine countries of Europe have finally been organized in their very own periodic table! This useful table contains enough demographic data about the continent to satisfy even the most devoted geography (or chemistry) buffs. For each country, the table includes:

• International Standards Organization 3166-1-alpha-2 country code
• country name, in English
• average population density (people per km²)
• linguistic group
• geopolitical affiliations, if any (Switzerland, what's the problem?)
• national currency:
• symbol, for those wacky countries that use one
• International Standards Organization 4217 currency code
• currency name, so you know when to keep your Euros in your pocket
• exchange rate against the Euro
• countries that use the Euro do not list this information. They are also usually boring and expensive.
• writing system, because being able to read street-signs is always helpful
• international calling code, for those late-night trans-continental drunk-dials
• standard time zone and summer or daylight savings time zone

Extreme Close-up:

With this Periodic Table of the Europeans, Dimitry Mendeleev's one-hundred and thirty-nine year stranglehold on useful periodic tables has finally been broken! No European Union bureaucrat's office will be complete without this single reference document for all of his or her administrative paperwork.

What linguistic family is Moldovan in, again? Is Ukraine actually a member of the Commonwealth of Independent States? What's the international calling code for Azerbaijan? Is Kazakhstan actually part of Europe or what? The answers to these questions, and to many more you never knew you had, are at your fingertips, with The Periodic Table of the Europeans.

This Periodic Table of the Europeans is available for purchase as a poster or on light and dark t-shirts. Get one for the chemical-geographical demographist or infographical fetishist in your family today!

Special thanks to all the travelers who gave me encouragement and feedback while I was developing this idea!

Other alternatives to, and parodies of, the periodic table, on the series of tubes Internet

• Alternatives:
  • Periodic Fractal of the Elements by Melinda Green
  • Elements, another spiral/fractal table by Hollister David
  • A spiral (closeup) made by J.F. Hyde at Dow Chemical
  • Elementouch is a circular periodic table that you can assemble at home.
  • The Mayan Periodic Chart of the Elements is another circular periodic table.
• Parodies:
  • The Periodic Table of Periodic Tables (the crown jewel of Periodic Table parodies)
  • Joey Seller's Periodic Calendar may be the last calendar you ever use.
  • The Periodic Table of Irrational Nonsense is somehow missing werewolves.
  • Patriotic Periodic T-Shirt
  • This Creationist Periodic Table outlines all the ways in which chemistry is just a theory. (earlier version)
  • The Beeriodic Table of the Elements comes complete with wacky flash animated explanations.
  • The Periodic Table of the Criminal Elements seems pretty accurate.
  • The Tasty Table lists your favorite ingredients.
  • Periodic Table of Controllers
  • A Periodic Table of Professional Cycling
  • The Periodic Table Table, at Wake Forest University, North Carolina
  • The Periodic Table of Storytellinig
  • The Periodic Table of Heavy Metals
  • And fifteen more...